It seems as if most men don’t know how to treat their mistresses(Small house).
For those who don’t care much for this kind of thing or do not have the sense of humour to handle it, stop reading now. For there are men out there for whom the whole thing is desirable there are few fundamental things to keep in mind. This is not targeted at those who are trying to find a new partner because their marriage is not working but for those who like to dip their toes in pools that are not their own.
Rule number 1 and don’t get it twisted. Never lie about your marital status. And never lie about your intentions in the relationship. Noone likes to be lied to.
In addition to that know why you are in this relationship and stick to that. You don’t love her. Don’t feel bad about that. The fact that you care is good enough. In the current economy it is about se.x and money. So make sure that you keep those flowing. However make sure they are not at the expense of the wife.
Just because you don’t love her, you don’t have license to be a jackass. There are a lot of men out there just like you and better than you who can fulfill the same obligations you have tied yourself to.
Keep everything separated. The small house and your family should never exist in the same emotional, social and economic time zone. In fact don’t talk about your family with the small house. And it goes without saying that mention your small house to the wife is probably not the best options on the table unless you have a suicide note stashed somewhere.
To do that effectively, make sure the place you take your small house to is the place you will never take your wife to. The really classy places is where you take your wife to. The places in lower rungs are where you take the mistress to. However make sure you don’t go to places that are a bit dodge. You don’t want Daily Sun or The Sowetan catching you in the act. In effect when in public there should be no public demonstration of affections.
Be as adventurous as you like. It will keep her interested and it will make you look fresh. And it will keep the situation appropriate. She is doing stuff you can’t do with your wife so go as far as you like. Want to try menage-a-trois? She is perfect for it. Unless she is the perfect small house then she will shoot the idea down.
Stay in the moment. Treat the small house like the fantasy she is.After all, she is the fantasy. The wife is the reality.
When the wife calls, run home. The wife is number one and when she wants her attention give it to her. This is not subject to negotiation or compromise. And make sure the small house understands this.
Don’t spend too much time doing things that might be considered romantic. And by that I am not saying that you should not be romantic. Just don’t give her the sort of attention that got you married. In essence, don’t have a meaningful relationship with her.
Make sure one of your friends know about her. Someone is going to have to cover for you. Not one of your dodgy friends but one of the friends your wife trusts. In fact make sure that this friend has his own sins to cover.
If she says she loves you, manage the situation. You saying you love means a lot more than she saying it to you. She actually means it. You don’t so don’t say it.
Don’t get her pregnant. Need I say more?
If you should have more than one, remember their names. No one enjoys being called baby all the time. Or worse yet, being called by someone else’s name.
When it starts getting complicated, run for the hills. Know when to cut your losses. This relationship was going nowhere. There are many fish in the sea and for you this is a catch and release sport.
There are probably a bunch of other rules that are important but these are the fundamental ones. Of course you can adapt them to your situation as you see fit.
However be aware that because you are dealing with human beings, someone is always going to get hurt. If you are willing to live with that then, happy hunting.